How to brainwash yourself with normal

I find it appealing to go against the grain, but it's difficult to be a brave outcast or a vocal minority. It's much easier to fit in — but normal is relative. We can use this to our advantage.

Jim Rohn was wrong

There is immense truth in the famous Jim Rohn quote:

"You are the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with"

However, I have found fault with it over the years. Who I am comes from a broader influence than just 5 people.

It comes from every time I pick up my phone and choose who gets access to my brain. The algorithm isn't responsible for where I give my attention — I am. Same with my Instagram, my Substack, my WhatsApp. These aren't passive feeds, they're choices. And they're all slowly brainwashing me - and I want to be in charge of that brainwashing

The correct quote should be:

You are the average of everyone you give your attention to

If I choose all these people and voices to put in my brain, and I become the sum of all these voices, I should choose wisely.

Who are your role/anti-models?

Who is living life in a way that appeals to you, and why?

The question is specifically not "Who makes the most money", it's more like "if money were irrelevant, who spends time in the way you most want to copy?".

The question is also "Whose lifestyle does not appeal to you?". It's very hard for people to know what they want, it's hard for me to know what I want. Once you know what you want life gets much easier - but often it's easier start with knowing what you don't want.

I have made good and bad choices around this a few times.

When I was a young party animal and I hung out at bars, it was because all my friends did the same. When I changed my social circle and started spending time around people in the FIRE community (financial independence / retire early) and the real estate investing community, I became financially independent and I bought a bunch of real estate.

Then as real estate investing became extremely popular I made tons of very successful real estate entrepreneur friends (because I'm just super good at being popular). This turned out to be a bit of a mistake. Not because there is anything wrong with these people but because I don't want to be a real estate entrepreneur - I want to use real estate to create freedom that allows me to spend my time on art and literature. None of the entrepreneurs I know care about art or literature.

I created a social group where "normal" means building businesses for the sake of building businesses but ignoring literature and art. That was a bad choice on my part. I want to be an artist who is rich, which means I need to curate my life with people who behave as if that is normal.

Who are mine?

Nassim Taleb, Charlie Munger, and Ray Dalio

Why these three?

• They don't seem to do anything with the money. This is perhaps what appeals to me most about these role models. There's something fascinating about winning the money game and then living modestly to prove that money was never the point.
• These men are all extremely curious. I believe they would say they are students first and investors second. They search for value in learning and use what they learn through investing.
• They aren't entrepreneurs, they are investors. The entrepreneur is a bulldozer, the investor is clever - I prefer to be clever.
• They share wisdom, but they aren't marketing. These are men who say what they think but they don't have any way to really profit from saying what you want to hear. In fact most of them share wisdom that takes patience, diligence, and sacrifice - none of which is profitable in marketing.

and anti-models?

People who don't care about art. Those who read only shallow pop-marketing business books (or don't read at all). Clickbait marketers. Materialists. Talkers. People who try to "hack" the algorithm. People who spend more time teaching than they do learning. Those who make the mistake of thinking business success is universal success.

It's not that there is anything wrong with these people, but I don't want that behavior to be normal for me.

This is happening whether you like it or not

Every day you talk to humans and consume content from humans, and every single one of those little interactions is what creates your normal. We choose each and every one of these interactions, your normal is being curated by your choices. Are you making them intentionally with eyes wide open?